If you are reading this then you need to congratulate yourself on acting on a habit. A habit to grow and evolve. But with great habits also come bad habits.
Knowing how to destroy your unwanted habits or even how your habits function will do more for you than your limited willpower and hope has done for you in the past.
We all have them. Good and bad habits. We live a high percentage of our life on our habits.
The structure of a habit consists of patterns, repetition and thought, and these create good and horrible habits.
We know what it takes to form a new habit. We know that if we enjoy something we continue to do it.
Now, this enjoyment and habit can also go from good to bad. And we have all had this. Think of perhaps a diet you have tried.
Inside this diet, you are allocated a cheat meal. A meal you can replenish and reward yourself from the grueling taste of nothing but nutritious food.
But something happens. You enjoy the cheat meal a little too much, and then the next day comes around and what happens ? …. let’s be honest here.
We cheat again. Then we think … Well, this week is ruined ill start next week.
Now what started as a positive thing to help refuel you and speed up metabolism now becomes a constant fight to fight the habit.
So how can we destroy an unwanted habit like this and others that maybe happened without our say so ?
And that is the key right there. Outside our say so.
This is where understanding the origins of your habit can flick the light bulb on for you.
We are great at creating a habit consciously. Meaning we looked at the diet. Saw the cheat meal and acted according to the plan.
We ate the meal, got emotionally attached to the yumminess of the food and vuala … Habit.
Now the next stage of the habit is where the outside of your awareness ( or unconscious mind ) kicks in.
A payoff ( this is why any habit, emotion or thought ) consistently continues.
Once your unconscious mind creates a payoff, and it finds something of use from your habit, you are stuck with it. Sorry ….
Now, you might be saying that you can get rid of a habit just by not thinking about it. Or creating a plan to get rid of it. Or distract yourself until it goes away.
And that can work. But like the majority. We get excited about the plan. Then at a moment of weakness what happens ? The habit pokes its ugly head out.
So why does this happen ? This is where trying to destroy the unconscious habit ( once the mind has created a payoff it becomes unconscious, and gets locked away ) consciously, we think is requires something known as willpower.
Now will power is great, while your remembering to have it. While you are saying to yourself.
“I won’t eat that cake … I won’t eat that cake”
Then you go on about your day, you receive a bill in the mail, stress out and what happens then.
You feel bad, so your unconscious mind senses this. And the unconscious mind hates when we feel bad.
So it instantly increases your thoughts too.
“Oh the cake will make me feel better”
And back in the fridge we go.
And if you go as far as to ignore the thought. Yes, it will go away. But it will continue to sneak back, over and over again, until the mind gets the payoff it THINKS you deserve.
If you are a seminar junkie. You attend personal development seminars. You get pumped up for the newest and latest techniques. You take notes, and write paragraphs, and think YES I HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER.
Then what happens ? You maybe task yourself for a few days to follow the steps by the mentor or coach.
You start to see great results … Then reality kicks in. Life throws a curve ball at you. The new notes and books go on the shelf. And you blame the techniques themselves.
Again let’s be honest, we have ALL done it.
So what can we do to destroy the unwanted habit ? And stick to the plan.
To be clear your unconscious mind needs to be utilised here. No 5 step magic formula, created by someone else that is handed out to the masses will cut it.
Why ? Everyone is different. The steps and techniques are a great way to kept you on track and give you an understanding, but that’s where they stop.
So to understand what to do. We need to get affiliated with our unconscious and find this damn payoff.
And with this. There is no magic formula. And ideally doing this with conscious thought ( meaning you will try and find what you think the payoff is, and never even get close to the real truth ) is essentially just a guideline approach.
So here are some guidelines to consider when understanding and destroying your unwanted habits.
Let’s take the cake example before.
Now there is no need to go back to the first time you had it, understand the emotions or what led up to that point. Let’s let the dead bury the dead.
You have the habit so let’s move forward.
You find yourself eating the cake ( the habit ) and you can’t stop.
Firstly ( now remember doing this consciously is just a guideline it won’t cure things, but it’s a step int the correct direction ).
Do you think you have a habit you want to get rid of or believe you can ? Ask yourself.
If you think the cake issues just a shrug of the shoulder issue … You won’t destroy it. It needs to be substantially emotionally motivating. So a little honesty with yourself here goes a long way.
Do you think you can get rid of it ? .. If the answer is no. Here will be your first block. If you believe it’s too hard to get rid of you are putting a block in your own way. Your mindset is crucial here.
You need to know you have more than enough power inside to get through even the deepest craving of this cake.
You made the habit in the first place, so you can destroy it.
Now this is out the way. Let’s find the payoff.
The idea here is to find the payoff and almost find something NEW that the unconscious mind can do or like better.
A payoff must include the unconscious mind to agree with it and get something from it that IS BETTER.
Always remember the unconscious mind didn’t create this habit to hurt you.
At the time it was doing what it thought it was correct at the time to either break a bad thought, make you feel better or make things easier in your life ( it doesn’t always get it right )
So the payoff with the cake ( we can only assume ) was it became more enjoyable than the diet.
And we can agree with that. Then the bill came in the mail. You stressed out. Then the unconscious mind triggered the cake craving to make you feel better.
The more you act of the craving the more cemented in it becomes.
So if we look at the rational and logic here we can pick it apart ( and this is something you can do yourself with any habit )
The logic is, the cake is better tasting than the diet. So what can we conclude ?
Here are some possibilities. ( now doing this consciously, meaning a hypnotist or coach is not helping you with this )
Maybe the diet needs to taste better ? So the unconscious mind gets the satisfaction of what the cake gave it, but without it.
Maybe there is another version of the cake that is lower fat and carbs, so we can almost think the unconscious mind into thinking it’s getting the same, but really not.
Maybe the diet needs to consist of more food so there is no room for cake.
Maybe the cake is just a side track to kick you off the diet because you know deep down you hate being of it, and the hate out ways to results you are getting.
So you can see here how logic can be flipped. But these are just guesses.
The easiest point to make. Is when learning your habits. Remember where they exist. ( the unconscious mind, all of them bar none )
When wanting to break them. We can’t take something away from the unconscious kind completely. It needs to be replaced with something better.
And this will take some trial and error.
And you will know when you hit it because the old cravings and thoughts will no longer trigger